Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Knowing Me Knowing You

Hi there and Happy New Year (a bit after the fact)!  Thank you for coming back to my blog!  I really appreciate it.  It's been quite awhile since I've made the time to write, so I'm getting back on the proverbial horse here at last.

The other night I couldn't fall asleep, and got sucked into two episodes of Oprah's Next Chapter.  I've always liked Oprah, always been drawn to her life lessons, and drawn towards how she looks for and finds deeper meaning in nearly every aspect of life.  That's stuff I resonate with, as I've always had a deeper level, and I'm not shy about putting it out there.  But on that night in particular, in the wee small hours actually, as I was watching her talk to Whitney Houston's mom, Cissy, then Drew Barrymore, it occurred to me that I seek out, watch, and listen to interviews a lot.  Interviews of people from all different walks of life, whether they are on Oprah, on other talk shows (though I rarely watch them), news story interviews, post-game sporting event interviews, even the backstage confessional booth snippets on Dancing with the Stars (a show of which I am a junkie!).  And sometimes on topics of things that really don't interest me.  Then like a light switch, it just kinda clicked in my head as to why I am so drawn to what other people have to say. 

No matter who it is talking, I find that in some fashion, I can relate to them or at least learn something from them.  It's usually on a philosophy of life, or the way someone/something made them feel, a struggle they have been through, or something they think of themselves.  But more than that, I am profoundly interested and moved by people's stories and what makes them tick.  I'm always amazed by someone's journey to where they are and who they are at any given moment.  I enjoy hearing what people have to say and what's really on their mind.  I think that's why I'm such an addict of Facebook, and Instagram - they are both sites in which people choose to share a part of themselves with the world.  And if there is something that I can learn from someone, or something I can take away from what they have been willing to share, it makes the world seem smaller.  It makes me feel like we as people are really more alike than we are different, and I always hope that other people feel the same way when they take the time to really think about it, and go to that deeper level inside themselves.      

In my relationships, I'm usually the one bring the topics onto the deeper levels.  I find that I always want to know more about everyone and their respective lives, but I never want to pry, so I'm quite careful and aware of going too far, even though I'm sure I do at times.  Even as a young kid, I wanted to be understood, and wanted people to care about what my story was, and out of that I think came my sincere interest in everyone else.  Sometimes it feels like being that deeper conversationalist, and the person always asking questions makes me seem too serious, but I don't have the energy or time for superficial, fake, or one-sided relationships.  We have all been there, done that, and I for one won't do it again.  Life is way to short for that crap, and when we are all so pressed for time, those kind of relationships aren't the ones to put energy towards. Although I am pretty jaded and skeptical a lot of the time, I do believe with every ounce of my soul that the connections you form with the people on a deeper, "true colors" personal level make you family.  Maybe that is just me because I always wanted a bigger family, and wanted a family that didn't have the problems mine did.  But as I stepped out into the world and made my life, I made damn sure that people I spend my time with, give my time to, share myself and my life with, are people that are willing to do the same in return.  It takes time of course, and not everyone is comfortable showing their true colors, rightfully so.  It's a very vulnerable place, and it takes a lot of time, mental effort, and trust (in yourself and in the other person) to be that open.  For myself though, I decided a long time ago that I'm always going to throw myself out there, as I am, right from the get go, so I tend to open up rather quickly.  (Just for the record, I wasn't like that until after high school.  There are two "versions" of me: one from birth to age 17, and then 17 onward.  Although they are both still me, they are really quite different.  I'm sure I'm not the only one who can say that.).  What you see is what you get, and it's always authentic.  And part of that is genuinely wanting to know people.  Also, to see what I can learn from them and their experiences, and what lessons they have learned that I can use in my own life.  That is what draws me to people each and every day, and also why I'm so interested in staying up half the night listening to people talk, even though I'll never meet them.

I mean, don't we all learn best from one another?  We learn how to get through life, how to deal with problems, how do deal with things and people we don't like, how to make vodka lemonades out of life's lemons, and how we best like to spend our time and with whom.  And for those that are willing to go to that deeper level, we can analyze and learn why we are the way we are, maybe how to change the things we don't like about ourselves, and how to maybe see things differently.  

So maybe take some time and listen to someone with a truly open mind.  Listen to their story to learn and understand, and resist the temptation to judge.  (Not easy, I know, but don't you feel that we are all too quick to judge, and to slow to give the benefit of the doubt?)  Realize that even though you are listening to one person, what they are saying is most likely felt by millions.  And that someday, for some reason, you may feel the same way if you haven't already.  By focusing on someone else's story, you may be surprised at what seeps in and sticks with you when you let it, and how much your own world may open up.   

Just yesterday, I watched an episode of The Doctors, and they interviewed the first U.S. person to receive a face transplant. A 20-something year old who referred to his pre-accident self as arrogant and self-absorbed. Now, he lives in gratitude and feels a responsibility to live life to the fullest. I bawled as he told his story. He mentally never gave up throughout his 30+ surgeries (so far). (And here's me, I give in to a mere headache.) By all accords, he shouldn't have survived his accident. He was told he would never eat again, talk, ... kiss his daughter. Yet here he was, with a new face, talking, living, with the capability to do everything he was told he wouldn't be able to. As he talked of the moment he could first feel his daughter's kiss, you would have to be heartless to not be moved by it. One kiss, such a simple act, but imagine if you couldn't feel it. I tell ya what, it prompted me to be really present in the moment when I shared a kiss with my husband when he came home from work. I just nope I remember to be that aware of how special each and every kiss is, like each and every bite I eat.

My life is very rich because of who I've let in, and who has let me in to theirs.  To those of you who share yourselves with me, I hope you know how appreciative and grateful I am.  You really are part of my family, and I am so grateful and lucky to have each and every one of you in my life.      

Wouldn't life be a lot nicer if we all took the time to really listen to what other people have to say, to know their story, what makes them tick?  And to be  especially when they offer their truest self?  It's not about always being on the same page, but showing compassion, understanding, and acceptance.  Things I think we all could use more of.

Thanks for reading!  Be well, everyone.  Until next time...    




1 comment:

  1. Nice job, you! Gave me something to ponder for a while. Keep 'em coming.

    ReplyDelete